Short Hair, Don't Care

Short Hair, Don't Care

Featuring a heart warming narration of tales from my childhood, a short justification of my personality,  and an empowering conclusion 

Beckie's Creation, June 2016
  "Short Hair, Don't Care" should be the title for my autobiography. But seeing how long it took me to get around to writing this post, the world has a long, long time to wait before that hits the shelves. Recently, my hair stylist, Beckie, took my pixie cut to a new level. She shaved the sides for me and made me look a little more badass. I've ventured into pixie cut territory I've never been in before. 
An Unamused Face, But Look at Those Bangs

A First Time for Everything  

  The first time I cut my hair drastically short was in sixth grade. I did not deserve the long blonde locks that I'd had throughout my childhood. I always wore my hair straight down, it never looked special. I had previously tried to reinvent my look. Sixth grade was a time when I was fascinated with emo people. I had never seen anything like them before. I was so inspired by their crazy hair, I ran to my hair stylist and asked her to give me asymmetrical bangs. Sixth grade Bailey had never processed the idea of using product in her hair so instead of looking like a wannabe emo, I looked like I had a rough run in with a pair of scissors. The bangs grew out to look really awesome though, so I don't regret it. 
  In the spring of sixth grade, I decided to get a pixie cut. It wasn't really a pixie, but it was super close. I started to wear flowers in my hair around that time. I thought that pairing flowers with my pixie helped to maintain a feminine image. 
  Middle school is a difficult time to cut your hair 'boy' short. People are very judgmental and will quickly put you down for anything drastically different in your appearance. The fact that I cut my hair as short as a guy's hair made me different and I already was considered different. I had a odd personality and I had a lot of drive to accomplish my goals, even then.

Is that Miley? 

 In seventh grade, I started to play around with my style. I was still interested in alternative culture but I ventured away from emos... I learned that I wasn't cut out for that.
  Kids have this supernatural ability to find the odd one out. A girl in my class informed me that some boys thought I walked funny. The boys would imitate my 'strut' when I left the room. My self confidence was noticeable, and that bothered people, something that happens to this day. 
  I was picked on for knowing what I wanted to do with my life. "Popular" boys would poke fun at me by sitting on my desk and asking me if their outfit was fashionable or not. 
  In seventh grade, I cut my hair like Emma Watson. The Emma Watson pixie was pretty simple; I didn't take it as short as she did post Harry Potter, but it was still short. 
  I was standing in the lunch line with one of my friends and a terrible boy turned around. He started to call me Miley (this was around the time that Miley Cyrus cut her hair into a pixie) and the boy asked me if I was into girls. I grew angry that he thought because I cut my hair short, I was into girls. Hair length and sexuality don't really coincide unless you're playing on stereotypes.
  Just today, I was thinking about middle school. As I write this post, I'm wearing my old middle school jazz band tee shirt. Jazz band was not cool in middle school and I had been a member for two years. I love jazz music and I always have. Jazz music brings an energy to the room that another genre of music cannot produce. 
  I distinctly remember walking down to the band room with my friend. We were on our way to set up for our Christmas performance during all of the lunch hours. I had changed into my jazz band tee shirt and a girl and her friend said something along the lines of, you better hurry to jazz band. They said the words 'jazz band' in such a mocking tone. I felt like I had run into a wall. What was wrong with jazz band? 
  I never saw a problem with being in jazz band. Sure, all of the kids in the group were bizarre in their own way, myself included. But, the actual act of jazz band had nothing wrong with it. I had a solo or two that day and I couldn't help but think of the 'populars' while I pointed the bell of my saxophone into the microphone. Those "popular" boys from shouted my name, but it wasn't encouraging; I knew the meaning. It rolled like water off of my back, yet, I still remember it. Why did they feel the need to mockingly compliment me? And it wasn't only me that they did this to. They'd call out introverted kids that didn't want to be bothered and harmlessly talk to them. The tone of their voice in these chats was not harmless; it was mocking and degrading. 
  Why did these boys do this? It's not showing dominance, it's show how much of an idiot those boys are. Instead of putting their energy toward something that they would benefit from, they chose to be jerks to kids who weren't the societal norm of 'popular' or 'normal'. 

Everyone In My Life Should Read the Following

   This blog is on the internet which means anyone can read this and share it with whoever they want. I understand that and I think about it every time I push publish. Here's a fact: I  personally don't care if people don't like my blog. And as a greenhorn blogger, for some reason I feel the need to constantly justify what I'm doing.
  My serious take on life might make your skin crawl and you might want to scream into your computer at me. Just keep in mind that the more you read, the more informed you become and that's priceless. 
  You know, I sometimes picture those "populars" reading my blog and showing their friends, laughing about my big girl words and how seriously I take things or how much I over analyze things. That's kind of just who I am. I've been progressively getting more serious since I hit puberty and a lot of people hate that. They tell me that I can't take a joke.   
  It's true, I have a really hard time understanding sarcasm. I'm strewn too tight compared to my peers but it's not a matter of me being uptight, it's a matter of me being mature in social situations. For the record, I can joke around and laugh; I'm not an angry old man standing on his porch yelling at kids. 
But back to what I was saying, overall, I expect a lot out of people and in high school that means I'm cut out for a lot of disappointment. My baseline expectation is for people to treat me with respect and be serious with me. Constantly, I get so much less than that and I get upset or I over react to prove to people that I don't want their immature crap. Maybe I come across as a crotchety old lady type (I do dress like one sometimes), and I'm okay with that. Back to the story.

One of my FAVORITE Outfits

Did You Eat Your DOG?

In eighth grade, I started the year with a pixie. That year, I took off with my style. I started to wear dresses, blazers, and skirts more and more often. I wore flowers everyday and people noticed. It was my signature. I started to read more about fashion and quickly immersed myself into the industry. 
  I bought my first copy of InStyle and read biographies of Anna Wintour and Christian Dior for a school project. I was obsessed with Raf Simons' work at Christian Dior. 
  In the wake of fashion mania, I bought a fur vest from Forever 21. While standing in the lunch line one day with my friend, two 'popular' boys turned around and started talking to me. "Did you eat your dog?" one asked. I didn't get what he meant and I told him no. They kept saying I skinned my dog to make my fur vest and I kept saying, it's fake! It's fake! Look at the label, my goodness!
  I wasn't embarrassed for wearing the vest, I was just really confused why someone would have the audacity to say something like that to me. In all of these instances I'm bringing up, I was never embarrassed or worried about what these people said or did. Each time, I was just stunned at what these kids were saying and doing. They were trying to break me down, and for what?
  For the record, they never got me. I never sat in my room and cried about some kid who tried to find enjoyment by telling me I was into girls or was wearing my dog. I didn't even cry in seventh grade when some kid told me 'you're fat and ugly and nobody likes you'. I actually laughed. That would have been insanely out of character for me to cry or even mope about the comments. 
  I continued to wear what I wanted, especially the fur vest. Why would I ever change myself for someone who was only talking to me in the first place so that he could try to make me feel bad? Those boys only wanted a reaction, and I guess I'm still reacting, even a few years later. I guess I just haven't gotten it quite out of my system (*smiles*). I think this is an important story to share though. Years have passed and I still remember it. This story promotes the idea of not caring what people think and to continue doing what makes you happy. The fur wasn't offensive to anyone, it wasn't hurting anyone, it wasn't making anyone uncomfortable and because of that it was okay to continue wearing it. 
  My early years of high school were ruled by the theatre. I kept my hair in a bob (chin length at the shortest) to ensure I had a chance at a good role. Traditionally, if you didn't have hair at auditions,  you just weren't cast in big roles. I hated having 'long hair'. I only kept it long for theatre, something that really meant a lot to me. 
  Now my interests have shifted a little and I'm okay with not being in every production. I got a job and I really, really love it there. I work in a bridal boutique where everyday is something new. I also am really involved in the music department. I'm in orchestra, wind ensemble, and jazz band and I always have a lot to do in those areas. This summer, I'm going to be in a production of The Music Man. Thankfully in this theater, they use wigs which means I can keep my hair short. 
  My ever changing hair doesn't shock people anymore. There are far more exciting things people do with their hair now that they are in high school and the spot light is finally off me. I mean, my outfits garner some attention. You know, that reminds me of another middle school story. 
  My best friend throughout middle school was mad at me one day and she called me conceited. She alluded to something along the lines of 'you only dress that way because you like attention'. I thought about this a lot back then. I disagree with that statement although I can see why people think that way. I wear outlandish things. One day last month I wore two of my hair flowers on my earrings so it looked like I had flowers dangling from my ears (it was really cute). I even have an outfit that makes me look like Bindi the Jungle Girl. I don't dress like this for attention though compliments are welcome. I dress like this because life is too short to wear boring clothes. If I wore UGGS and PINK leggings everyday, I think I'd be really depressed. I can't handle monotony. How I dress is entertainment for myself. I appreciate interesting textures and fabrics and I think people don't utilize that enough. We all can wear a polyester cotton blend like it's 1999, but what about fur? What about lace? Come on people, lace is not that hard
  I don't dress for attention, I dress like this because I'm not confident in sweatpants or leggings. I want to be treated with respect and if you look like you didn't shower this morning, people will treat you differently. Fight me on this if you absolutely want to, but you know I'm right. People don't want to admit that they treat people differently based on appearance but suck it up buttercup, life is a fact and it happens to the best of us. 

To conclude, life is a tricky slope to master. Everyone is fighting to get ahead which results in put downs. What everyone really, really needs to remember is you don't have to take the put downs to heart. You should only accept comments that are deserved. I mean, before you complain about someone calling you something, try to understand why they're saying that. It'll save you a lot of negative emotions. Also, if you're ever in the mood to do something drastic with your hair, do it, but make sure your stylist thinks it'll be good on you. They're experts on creating the best image of you. 

Edited on 6/11/17 for length


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